Dine and Dash

Over the years there have been a number of nicknames for dynamic running back tandems. Ron Dayne and Tiki Barber were thunder and lightning, that didn't work so well Tiki really didn't come into his own until Tom Coughlin took over and Tiki saw 20+ carries per game. This year there have been several outstanding duos, during the Raiders vs. Panthers telecast a week ago Sunday, DeAngelo Williams referred to himself and Rookie Jonathan Stewart as 'Smash and Dash'. Well I looked this term up in the urban dictionary and discovered it's some rather crude slang...if you think about it hard enough in a certain context you will be able to figure it out yourself.
Later in the day watching highlights of the Titans game I heard announcers refer to the due of LenDale White and Chris Johnson of Smash and Dash...I couldn't help but think that "Dine and Dash" would be a more appropriate moniker.

NOTES: I'm going to start listing cliched phrases that I think announcers should just stop using..."anemic", what is the Raider offence in need of some more green leafy vegetables? Also can people come up with another term besides "Juggernaut" to describe the Titans offence. Is there not another Marvel Villain they can give some "props" to.

Zaun Baby Gone?

It was on a Cp24 newsboard earlier this week in Broadview station that I read the startling news. After the Blue Jays exercised the $2.5 million option earlier this week on catcher Rod Barajas, catcher Greg Zaun filed for free agency. After battling early season injuries Zaun lost his starting job to Barajas. 2008 was the 2nd year of Zaun's $7.5 million contract and surely at 38 years old anywhere he'd go to would be in backup capacity. Neither Ricciardi nor Zaun have ruled out Zaun returning. Zaun seems like he'd be looking to catch on with a playoff contender and the Blue Jays chances of winning the AL East grabbing a Wild Card spot are entirely dependant on whether they can retain AJ Burnett and pick up another big bat during the free agency period. Ricciardi just knows he can probably find a better backup option either in the minors,waiver wire, free agent market, the local stick ball game.

Zaun is well liked by Jays fans. Zaun is not overwelmingly gifted as an athlete, his .237 average is well pretty average for a catcher. Zaun's on camera interviews and work as an analyst during the post-season show that he does have a fair bit of charisma so the fans identify with him and I think his hustle and intensity behind the plate will be missed by the fans. What could a blog entry about Greg Zaun be without mention of the steroid accusations and Zaun's explanation for the cheque made out to well known baseball steroid dealer Kirk Radomski with his ridiculous blank cheque paying a teammate explanation, I don't know whether anyone actually does that, I certainly would never but then again I also don't get paid $3 million a year. Zaun's explanation was only slightly more believable than Roger Clemens testimony. At least Zaun was smart enough not to testify before the Mitchell commission I must give him credit for that.

Zaun has been a source of great amusement for Blue Jays fans for the last 5 years and he may have a career as a broadcaster when his on field career is finally over, but who could blame the guy for seeing if he could sign on for a few more seasons somewhere, even if it's for a measly $1 million a season. $1 million to work once maybe twice a week and sit in the bullpen chewing on sunflower seeds is a pretty good job. If this is the last of Greg Zaun good luck, we probably won't miss his bat too much but fans will miss his spirit.

Hans, Booby, I'm your 'Nuit Blanche'!

This past Saturday, Toronto held it's version of the "All Night Contemporary Art Thing". This was actually my first chance to take the Festival in. Last year I sort of got a taste of what it was all about, I was at a Newfy-Chinese wedding banquet at the Dynasty restaurant. Young art lovers crashed the open bar claiming they thought it was some kind of art exhibit. At the end of the evening we tried to check out a Nuit Blanche exhibit at the Japan Foundation, but I was hardly in the mindset to take it in. Monkeys and copious amounts of alcohol just don't mix.

This year with no other obligations I was determined to take it all in. Having heard about how busy the downtown core was we made plans to start late in the North end of the city and work our way downtown. The exhibit was divided into 3 zones: Zone A Downtown North; Zone B Downtown South; Zone C Southwest.

11:30 PM Having had a late dinner and a brief nap we met up with friends on the Baldwin steps lookout below Casa Loma. A bit of caffeine mixed with herbal medicinal liquer to kickstart the evening. We note that we have a good view of our apartment from the Casa Loma Steps and we left the kitchen light on.

11:45 PM We walk through a small art gallery exhibit set up in the Casa Loma Spadina Museum. We walk through what looks like a teepee shower curtain.

12:00 AM The Casa Loma Coach house has a neat little exhibit in what looks like a small high school gym, some kind of interpretive dance. Looks a lot like a fatboy slim video. 4 dance leaders dressed in white lead an open participation dance pack. Very thrilleresque but without the zombie makeup.

12:30 AM We decide to try and check out the Atom Egoyan exhibit which we think is at Innis College. Turns out the exhibit is not at Innis College rather it is sponsored by Innis College but on back campus. Walking onto back campus for the first time we get a glimpse of the kind of crowds we are going to deal with. The exhibit is a sort of photo video audio cutout from Egoyan's most recent film Adoration. 4 suburban homes around Christmas time with various characters from the film performing monologues related to the film whose subject matter is terrorism. Purposely confusing and a bit disorienting. After about 5 minutes we have reached the end of the loop and decide to check out stuff in Hart House.

12:45 AM After some Baileys and Hot Chocolate we wander into Hart House which is just jam packed. The hallways really are only designed for people to walk one abreast and certainly not the large number of people wandering through, feeling a bit claustrophobic. We check out a video exhibit which does the obvious comparison of body parts to fruits, vegetables and plants. One person can't contain himself, "that was a dick, that was totally a dick". Another person "is it wrong to be turned on". We decide to try and meet up with a friend on front campus.

1:00 AM We wander out towards King's College circle and contemplate taking a shortcut across but realize the rain and sprinkler system has led to massive puddles. We find our friend and decide to head to Queens Park to experience the "Sound Forest", as we walk through the darkness I wander right into a little tree branch my eye is a bit scratched up but I wander on. We pass through the underpass near Queen's Park and Wellesley and into the South West edge of Queen's Park. The sound of drums and the distinct smell of reefer draws us to the midwest portion of the park. We get there and realize that this "Sound Forest" has degenerated into a Drum Circle/ NORML rally hippies jumping up and down to the beat of the drum people break out the hackeysack. We decide to head South East.

1:30 AM Just to the East of the Parliament building we spot a fake vaudeville type exhibit which succeeds in it's probable goal of making people lineup to gawk at the freak. We decide the line is too long an instead head to some exhibit at nearby Provincial government building which is basically just pictures of various phases of the moon projected onto the side of the building.

2:00 AM We head South East to the Hydro One building to see this exhibit that is supposed to look like a Waterfall. It does.

2:30 AM We head to College Park to check out Zombies in Condoland, one of the most hyped exhibits of the night. We get there and it looks more like an OCAP rally. Some guy with a blowhorn directing the Zombies, scolding a zombie for smacking on a window too hard. Surprisingly not many zombies, perhaps they liked their condos and decided to stay in for the night. About 5 minutes after we get there the guy with the blowhorn tells the Zombies to take 15, it felt a bit like Zombie Juliard or that we were on the set of a movie. Most of the Zombies break character and give out a self congratulatory cheer. Someone asks to check out the map, Zombies, maps, backpacks, it feels a bit like we are playing Dungeons and Dragons. Deciding these Zombies were lame we head towards Ryerson to check out some ducks. Some of our group decide they've had enough "art" for one night and bail. Now there's 4 trying to see as much art as they can and get back to their home base in Coney Island before the morning.

2:15 AM

We arrive at Ryerson and notice the duck exhibit isn't working and the ducks are gone. There's some Storm Trooper looking metal sculpture. We carry on towards Dundas Square.

2:30 AM We arrive at Dundas Square and realize that the exhibit "15 Seconds" is some dude in what looks like a Prison Tower shining a spotlight. Drunk Girl does cartwheels for about 5 minutes for jackass with camera who keeps "accidentally" missing the shot. Finally the spotlight flashes on her, about freaking time. We are handed a book from a stranger for some "Nuit Blanche Drawing experiment". We are asked to draw something awesome and then pass it on. Not surprisingly the book is filled with pictures of dicks. I am apparently in need of some awesome drawing lessons because I draw a blank. We run into Leighann's friends who are coming up from the South they mention an exhibit in some alleyway near Massey Hall where they have constructed a real drop ceiling like the type one usually finds in an office buiding.

2:45 AM We walk down Victoria street to some drop ceiling exhibit. Security guards all over the place to protect people from taking the strategically strewn art such as christmas tree decorations,Chinese laneterns, old computer monitors, no it's not garbage it's art which reminds me I need to take out the kitchen art at home it's starting to smell like rotten fruit.

3:00 AM We stop in the Eaton Centre to use the bathrooms. It has a very strange apocalyptic feel much like in Dawn of the Dead the denizens of the night are drawn to the mall. We walk across Queen Street and the crowds are just massive. We hit Nathan Phillips square and they've done some cool stuff with the office lights turning them on and off to recreate classic video games such as missle command, pacman, and pong. Wanting to avoid the crowds we decide to cut back north.

3:30 AM We hit University and Dundas and try to hit Hong Shing a very good restaurant in the area, but it is packed. We decide to keep walking along Dundas. In front of 52 division people are writing in chalk. Vandals are writing anti-police slogans on the 52 division sign. People are drawing chalk outlines. We walk past OCAD and the AGO and there are just massive lineups so we keep walking.

3:45 AM We get to Spadina and Queen and see a fairly empty and open Chinese restaurant we decide to stop and eat at Rol Jui. The food comes quick. We discuss whether we want to hit any more exhibits. It is suggested we walk back towards Yonge Street, given the crowds we opt instead to just walk home.

4:45 AM We walk north up Spadina and see what looks to be a pedestrian TTC vehicle collision.

5:30 AM We arrive back home. After about 6 hours of walking probably in the neighborhood of 10K we saw at least a dozen exhibits. In retrospect I think we'd like to have started a little further out West in the Liberty Village and worked our way back up perhaps next year we'll avoid the entertainment district entirely.

It's Only Chinatown

As some of you may know I work in one of the most interesting neighborhoods in all of Toronto. Spadina and College.

To the Northwest: We have the Scott Mission, the Silver Dollar Room a legendary Blues bar, the Comfort Zone a now notorious youth hangout that was in the news when a kid od'd last year on GHB and several arrests of employees dealing rave drugs. You have the Waverly hotel where they write the room numbers on the doors home to prostitutes and the destitute.

To the Norththeast: We have the UofT campus and the Centre for Addiction and Mental health.

To the Southwest we have Kensington market a great place to buy cheap groceries, grab some lunch or do some shopping for used CDs, clothing, furniture or military surplus items. Actually one of my favourite stores right now is a sort of local merchant collective called the Blue Banana market, I haven't actually bought anything but I love the wide mix of stuff you get in there. My favourite booths are the beanbag furniture store and the 'kitschy' knockoff Soviet Surplus store. Lots of great Soviet leader nesting dolls on sale.

To the Immediate South: Everyones favourite place Chinatown. Once you get down near Dundas on a warm spring-fall day you can really smell it. Empty produce boxes on the curb stacked about 6 feet high, merchants selling mangos and dvds. The sidewalk has a pemanent black grease stain and mountains of coconut beverages line the street. Up and down the Spadina and along Dundas there are probably over a hundred different Chinese resturants. So many you wonder how they all manage to exist. I won't say favourites but the Chinese restaurants I will sometimes frequent include: Kom Jug Yuen (BBQ Pork), Swawtow (I once saw Woody Harrelson there drunk etc. out of his mind late one Saturday night also have this unique 'strangers' table), a place I don't even know the name of on the south side of Dundas a bit east of Spadina I don't even know the name of but I'll call it the Welsh Dragon, King's Noodle (I'm told a HK style restaurant with terrible service which is what defines it as HK style, you literally have to scream at the server to get service). Besides the huge number of Chinese restaurants there are a few Thai and Vietnamese restaurants. Today looking to try something different I tried a relatively new place called Laksa on Spadina just south of Dundas on the West side pretty close to Goldstone. They have a mix of Thai and Malaysian foods and I ordered the Spicy noodles, not a lunch special very good, perhaps not as filling as I'd like for $12 but really great flavouring. OK not really sure where this entry is going but I observed quite a few funny things in the half hour or so I wandered around Chinatown.

• Dairy Queen: There's a Dairy Queen in the Dragon City shopping mall at Spadina and Dundas. The reason I find this strange is that Asians generally are not too much into Dairy products. As I mentioned not quite full I decided to have a skor blizzard a rare treat. My first real job was working Brazier at a Dairy Queen. This Dairy Queen did not have a Brazier but it did have one of those rotating hot dog things they have at snackbars at small town arenas and drive in movie theatres. The only reason I noticed this is I saw three white people who I'm guessing were Americans eating this thing. I just have this image of these Americans out to absorb all this culture wandering out of their hotel and ending up in Chinatown starved, they decide to go get a hot dog at Dairy Queen. I suppose not much worse than the meat you'd get elsewhere in Chinatown but still weird. Waiting to order a Chinese woman starts speaking Chinese, the DQ employee looks obviously Asian just kind of looks at her with bewilderment and then says "I don't understand Chinese". I was thinking about that and laughing man that must really suck for him, because few people in Chinatown actually speak English, I'm sure many understand at least a bit but almost no one speaks English, luckily for him he mostly just gets Americans ordering hotdogs.
• Bank Machines: Maybe it's a small sample size but going to use the bank machine at CIBC in Chinatown I noticed a large lineup inside for the 2 machines but nobody lining up outside to use that machine except us white people. Maybe we are just dumb and that machine is some kind of card skimming operation or maybe the Chinese are afraid to get robbed, I thought that wasn't completely irrational but weird.
• Buskers: Walking up Spadina back towards work I notice guy playing an Irish jig on a fiddle. I'm like weird location weird music to be playing, generally I've found the Chinese to not be too sympathetic to panhandlers, the Spadina Business Asssociation even went so far as to hire security guards this summer to keep panhandlers out of the area. OK busking is different from panhandling but people weren't stopping and his hat was pretty much empty.
• Confrontations: I've seen this a few times before with merchants, but the people in Chinatown aren't afraid to stand up for themselves. I've seen little old ladies follow shoplifters for blocks tugging on the stolen item, yelling and screaming it may only be worth a few dollars and you may very well be exposing yourself to a beating but the business owners don't care. Today I saw a man say something rude to a woman in the middle of the intesection she turned around and went right at him screaming. He kept walking and didn't look back, I saw him giggle and smile about it after, whatever he said it certainly wasn't nice but no fear whatsoever.

It's a fascinating dirty smelly little place.

Raider Nation invades the Ralph

I spent most of Sunday hooting it up with a bunch of grown men who think every Sunday from September-December is Halloween.

6:30 am A party of 7 brave men and women gathered got up at an ungodly hour to catch a Tour bus destined for Orchard Park NY. Approaching the bus I had no idea what the composition of fans on the bus so I was a little worried I'd be harassed for wearing the colours. I knew that the Raider Nation travelled in large numbers, but I was truly and pleasantly surprised by the composition of our bus, overwhelmingly Raiders fans.

7:45 am The bus loads up and begins rolling towards the "Hammer" to pick up Hamilton fans also headed to the game.

8:00 am The parking lots at Orchard Park, NY open up for tailgaters.

8:15 am Somewhere past Mississauga I crack my first beer of the day. I figured I didn't want the beer to get warm.
8:45 am
The bus stopped in Hamilton and I got off the bus to use the facilities at the Golden Griddle. I took a brief whiff of the smog filled air and thought hmmm, I better get used to this smell if I'm going to spend a day in Buffalo. I got back on the bus and noticed more Raiders fans get on the bus. Also getting on in Hamilton is a guy we'll call "Frosted Tips" that we had our first taste of the kind of beratement we might get as Raiders fans. Immediately upon getting on the bus, "Frosted Tips" began to question the sexuality of the Raiders fans and made frequent trips to the back of the bus to engage in some trash talking with the guys in the back.

9:15 am The bus makes it's 3rd stop at a strip mall in St.Catherine's. I finish my first beer and get off to use the Starbucks bathroom. I grab a quad americano, which I've pretty much become addicted to since earlier this spring. Frosted Tips has a buddy get on who happens to sit in the only remaining empty seat next to my buddy the other Raiders fan Hardy. This kind of sucks for Hardy as FT spends much of the trip out of his seat talking to his buddy Brucey sitting in the window seat. FT was already slurring his words and he was just starting to get on our nerves.

10:00 amI crack open my 2nd and last in drive beer. I didn't want it to get warm.

10:30 am We finally got to the Fort Erie bridge we saw a pretty long line of cars and buses waiting to cross. Leighann decided she needed to "break the seal". Apparently, there was a toll to pay to get to the back of the bus, one had to do a shot of "Captain Morgan's" rum before one could pass. This was not an issue for Leighann, she would have scored high on her pirate aptitude test taking alcohol from strangers, maye not the smartest idea but none of the guys in the back were named Janikowski so she was ok.

The lineup of cars moved slowly and we realized there were a ton of cars headed to the game, mostly Raiders fans. The realization we'd be stuck on the bridge for at least half an hour everybody who had been drinking since the bus hit Hamilton at 9 am had to use the bathroom: About 5 minutes in line we noticed a couple guys got out of their car and started running up the bridge with a case of beer in their hand not sure whatever happened to these guys.

11:00 am
When we got to the border of course the American border patrol man came aboard and pulled off all the non-Canadian or American born people and we sat and waited for 30 minutes while our Swedish and English Enemy combatants were grilled and anally probed. After giving a boost to the 2nd tour bus which had apparently broken down at the border we were finally across the border but our window of tailgating was rapidly disappearing.

11:30 am we drive through a long strip of abandoned buildings and so many above ground pools I thought we were in Quebec. As we get closer to Orchard park everything slowed right down. We approach the stadium and see residential homes and bars near the stadium packed with tailgaters.

12:00 pm
We finally arrive at our parking lot to the finger from angry Buffalo fans. Not quite sure whether that was because we were Canadian or because there were a lot of Raiders fans. Frosted tips has put in his matching Bills Helmet earrings. We notice some dude dressed up like the Ultimate Warrior in Bills colours, a tailgater runs up to the Warrior and requests a picture with him in a headlock. Looking around the lots near the Stadium were about 50/50 Raiders/Bills fans. My friend Hardy and I decide we need to seek out some bathrooms. There were porto-lets but the lineups were huge. In the distance we notice a wooded area so we figure avoid the line ups. While Hardy is doing his thing some Bills fan walks up and screams in his ear that the Raiders suck.

We find our way back to the Toursport tailgate and get some sausages an some more beers enjoy some cover band which really made me just think of Guitar Hero especially dude walking around with the wireless guitar encouraging people to play with his whammy bar.

12:45 pm We finish up our beers and decide to make our way towards the stadium. Now walking towards the stadium it's really kind of a dump. Garbage everywhere, beer bottles, coffee cups, vomit (one of the reasons they call it the "Ralph"), tons of really mean looking locals. Hardy got burned by the oldest trick in the book, the high five/ no I don't think so psyche. A lot of really angry people. We hear the National anthem play and the roar of the crowd.We move slowly but steadily through security who are pleasant enough no major hassles.

1:10 pm We finally get to our seats as we are walking up Hardy and I get berated by Bills fans and cheered by members of the Raider Nation. By the time we get to our seats it's already 3-0 Raiders. The crowd is probably about 20% Raiders fans mixed in with Bills fans, generally fairly pleasant, I think mostly because our section was mostly a Canadian tour group it wasn't so bad.

1:30 pm I get up to use the bathroom. The bathrooms are of course the old Maple Leaf Gardens style troughs. I was warned on the way up not to wash my hands because guys urinate in the sink, but it's one of those ones I had in my public school where you step on the pedal and water comes out so I don't actually need to touch the sink with my hands. On my way back to my seat I am told by a Bills fan at the end of my row he doesn't want to let me back in but he will his girlfriend pipes in with a yeah kind of like a "take that", I just kind of laugh it off.

1:45 pm At the end of the quarter we go down to grab some beers. Scrawny Bills fan purposely turns his shoulder into Hardy and says oops, he pretends to do the same to me and I inform him he's too small to be trying that kind of move it seems effective as he doesn't give me a hard time on the way back.

2:30 pm Half time with the score 9-7 for the Raiders as Ralph Wilson stumbles through an intro and the Bills unveil Bruce Smith's place in the ring of honour we grab our last beers of the day, the "Ralph" ends beer sales at the end of halftime. Unlike the ACC or the Rogers Centre there are just these tiny little 14 inch mounted colour tvs so can't really see what's going on when standing in line for beer.

3:15 pm Close game with the Raiders leading 16-7 at the start of the 4th quarter Hardy decides that little Andy is getting in his way and thinks it's funny to pour water on his head from his seat one row above. Andy flips out and knocks the bottle off to the side splashing water onto people 4 rows in front of us. The people in front of us think the asshole Raiders fans have purposely thrown water on them and glare at us for a long time. Eventually they sit down and focus on the game

3:45 pm The Raiders complete an 84 yard pass to make the score 23-14 with about six minutes remaining. Bills Fans begin leaving in droves trying to get a jump on traffic. I know better, the game is definitely not over and realize there's plenty of time for Buffalo to get 2 posessions unless the Raiders can grind out some first downs. The Bills score a touchdown and then the Raiders go 3 and out on some conservative play calling. The Bills get the ball back and drive and kick a field goal with no time remaining. I thoughy Lane Kiffin may have called a timeout to ice the kicker, but he did not. The Bills win and the Hill"Bill"ies are satisfied. The Raider Nation collectively sighs, "not again" and questions will Al Davis fire Lane Kiffin this week?

4:15pm we make our way through the parking lot where we get some comments, some middle aged jerkoff laughed at me and tried to walk right into me I kept my ground and just bounced off of him. All in all some really weak attempts at harassment and intimidation.

4:30 pm We gather outside the bus and have a few beers as people go to purchase merchandise from vendors. Small Andy decides he's now a Bills fan.

???? Sometime after dark we arrived back in Toronto and I arrive back in Toronto. The trip was a blast the Raider nation is pretty crazy. Bills fans, well I guess you can say they love their team, but these guys are very bitter about a lot of things so If you travel there beware if you don't have a small army with you things could get ugly.

Flying Festival Forearm!

Well, I've had a few days to recover from my sleep deficit and I've been getting questions all week like how were the films, did you see any good movies did you see any stars. Well 28 films in 10 days, (really 8 days I took Sunday off to watch the NFL and the last Friday to go to the Zoo with my Niece and Nephew) things get a little confused and it's tough to remember what directors or stars you saw. I saw many good films but only one that really stands out in my mind as outstanding.

My favourite film of the Festival had to be Darren Arnofsky's soon to be released "The Wrestler". The film stars Mickey Rourke as the 'Passion of the Christ' christ-like figure, 50 something wrestler Randy "The Ram" Robinson and Marisa Tomei plays the "Mary Magdalene" like stripper pseudo-girlfriend. There is an explicit allusion to the Rourke character taking a 2 hr beating for mankinds sins, but the film is not high art, the film is as Aronofsky described it a "small gentle film". Rourke's performance is outstanding, the film won the top prize at the Venice film festival and all week, along with JCVD, kept coming up in weekly publications, in conversations in line or in theaters, as the two films everybody was talking about.

Rourke's character "The Ram" is a former top wrestling star, in ring a high flying off the top rope wrestler, a charismatic "face", but like so many wrestlers outside of the ring his life is a mess, struggles with drugs, alcohol, struggling with chronic pain, struggling to pay the rent on his trailer, to keep up with younger stronger wrestlers, trying to reconnect his estranged college student daughter. The Randy character through all his turmoils is extremely likable, encouraging to the boys in the locker room and hamming it up with the neighborhood kids who adore him even though they are too young to remember him in his prime. The character's likableness makes his struggles all that more compelling a man who has given his entire life to entertaining the masses and has nothing to show for it, he just keeps screwing things up. The in ring and behind the scenes wrestling footage seems really authentic mostly because it is filmed in real high school gyms and small house shows in the New Jersey area, put on by real independent promotions. The most disturbing footage is the death match Rourke has with "Hellbilly", (really CZW's Necro Butcher, a Mick Foley Cactus Jack style extreme wrestler). The match features staple guns, glass windows, garbage cans, barb wire, prosthetic leg shots and an exploding ring. If you are a wrestling fan the action is authentic and if you aren't a fan it's a compelling look into this world. The film features cameo appearances by former TNA wrestler Ron "The Truth" Killings and WCW Wrestler Ernest "The Cat" Miller as the Iron Sheik like former top '80s heel "The Ayatollah. The film failed to win the People's Choice Award, that went to Danny Boyle's "Slum Dog Millionaire", but this film is without a doubt my favourite it really is a "small gentle film", a small gentle chairshot to the head that is.

Tre Fringe

I PVR'd the premiere of the new JJ Abrams series the Fringe and I very much enjoyed the style and subject matter. Reminiscent of the X-Files and of course more recently LOST, the show features some HBO veterans Lance Reddick (OZ, the Wire and a small role on LOST, I'm sure he's had some roles on Dick Wolf Law and Order shows too) and Kirk Acevedo (Alvarez on OZ and a major role in Band of Brothers). Watching it at first I did not notice, but by the end I recognized many of the locales as areas in and around the University of Toronto Campus. The show deals with lots of themes that were featured on the X-Files and the TMN show ReGenesis nothing really all that original. The show again hints at the importance of numerology that Abrams is reportedly obsessed with(passenger 108 is responsible for unleashing a flesh eating virus on an International flight of course a very important number on LOST, the sum of the sequence hatch members must input every 108 minutes, also the sum of Hurley's Lotto numbers). There was one thing which freaked me out. The final scene of the episode featured an orderly in the basement of an Evil Genetics/Biotechnology military contractor wheeling a body into a mysterious lab, I can only guess for some kind of re-animation procedure. What shocked me was not the fact that the character was about to undergo something pretty much physically impossible, it was the actor portraying gurney man. Having just determined the show which was supposed to take place in Boston actually being filmed at University College, I realized the actor portraying gurney man was Toronto Humane Society Animal Cruelty Investigator and frequent guest of Ann Rohmer on Cp24/ City News Tre Smith. I was stunned, I didn't realize this guy was an actor. He made the news in the summer of 2007 for handcuffing a man to his car while he rescued a Rotweiller the owner had left in blazing heat. Is this just a bit part or is Tre Smith pursuing a career in acting? Just bizarre.
The Fringe airs on FOX and A-TV on Tuesday nights.

Midnight Chocolate

The Toronto International Film Festival closed on Saturday night with the 'kick ass' Muay Thai film 'Chocolate' the final film of the tremendously popular Midnight Madness programme. In 2003, Prachya Pinkaew's Ong Bak blew audiences away introducing the world to Tony Jaa. Pinkaew's stunning action film went against the prevailing high wire trend. Chocolate introduces the world to 'Jeeja' . Her lightning fast kicks and knees and incredibly choreographed fights are truly amazing. In the film Jeeja plays an autistic girl who becomes obsessed with the film Ongbak. When her Mom is stricken with cancer her and her chubby brother decide it is their duty to collect the debts that are owed to her. Think Jackie Chan and Jet Li meet Tony Jaa, that's how good these fight sequences are. The film has a great villain, the Thai gangster and his Lady Boy sidekick, throw in the appearance of the lead characters 'Yakuza' father and you got a truly 'mixed' martial arts spectacular. The film was met with a standing ovation by the 1,200 loyal fans at the Ryerson and the overwhelmed Prachya Pinkaew was overjoyed.This film should get widespread release in the next year given the success and popularity of Ong Bak. The final 3 story fight is some truly remarkable stuff.

First Sunday

It's about 6:45 on Sunday, the first Sunday of the NFL season and the biggest story of the day is Tom Brady's 1st half knee injury. About 85% of Fantasy owners who don't have Brady in at least one pool are panicking. I'm in an 18 team and an 8 team pool, fortunately for me I have Brady in my 8 team pool meaning I have decent backup QB options.

The games aren't done we still have 3 prime time matchups, to date there are a number of surprises and also a number of not so surprising developments:

The Biggest Surprises:

The Chiefs hanging in until the end against the Patriots, even without Brady it is somewhat surprising that the Patriots only won by 7 pts. With less than 2 minutes remaining the Chiefs were facing a first and goal from the Patriots 5 and failed to score what would have been a game tying TD. The Chiefs offence looks like it will struggle this season.

The Bills blowing out the Seahawks. True the Bills were at home, but the rainy September weather must have made the Seahawks feel like they were at home in the Pacific Northwest.

The Eagles, absolutely pounding the Rams. Ok maybe one shouldn't expect anything from the Rams, but really one sided result.

The Chargers are trailing in the 4th quarter to the Panthers- but currently driving- ok they just scored it'll be 19- 17 after the point after. Good news for me a 2nd TD for Rivers, not spectacular numbers today but he doesn't seem to be maiking bad decisions.

The Falcons destroying the Lions, Michael Turner with over 200 yards on the ground and 2 TDS (one of my RBs in the 18 team pool). I thought Turner was capable of being a great starter, I was skeptical of the Falcons ability to prevent the opposition from scoring and allowing them to run the ball. The Lions don't appear to have a great defence, to echo what so many people have said, how Matt Millen still has a job is remarkable.

What isn't surprising: The Redskins only managing to score 7 pts vs. the Giants. Inexperience at QB against an experienced Giants defence, they will be in tough.

The Cowboys beating up on the Browns. The Browns are supposed to be much improved vs. the run but the injuries and lack of depth in the secondary made for a glaring mismatch for TO. Looks as thought th gigantic Cowboys offensive line is able to smack around the Browns 3-4 defence, maybe a 3-4 defense isn't suited to play against the Cowboys offensive line, so Marion Barber appears to be having a huge game.

I am looking forward to Monday night mostly because of the matchups, more divisional traditional rivalries being showcased. This whole Sunday night premium game thing just feels wrong. I really don't like NBC's coverage. As a kid I liked the way Bob Costas covered baseball, but the whole tone and look of NBC's coverage just feels I don't know mechanical. The music just doesn't feel right, I'm a huge NFL Films fan and this just doesn't seem to fit. Al Michael's is okay, but Madden and Michaels just have no chemistry together still.

It's funny people always want to make assessments about how things are going to be after 1 or 2 weeks, what Iv'e come to learn is you can't put too much in early results.

Blues Monday

Ok, this blog entry has nothing to do with Blues legend BB King nor does it have anything to do with the British New Wave pop band New Order. Yesterday was quite a remarkable day for Toronto football. For the first time in I don't know how long both the UofT Varsity Blues and the Double Blues, the Toronto Argonauts, pulled off Labour Day Monday victories.

The Varsity Blues victory is perhaps more significant and more of a notable accomplishment. The Blues ended a 49 game losing streak that dated back to October 2001. I did not actually see any of the game, the accounts I've read, it was a pretty dramatic victory. The Blues, losing 17-8 with under 3 minutes remaining scored a TD to pull within 2 points, then stopped the visiting Waterloo Warriors with enough time to drive down the field and kick a game winning field goal. For many years, it has been a very popular trend around the city for people to take shots at the football program, for the Blues to pull off a win just a few short months after the resignation of their head coach has got to be seen as a remarkable accomplishment. Congratulations to the Blues.

Toronto's Professional football team pulled out a much needed win last night in a highly entertaining 'Labour Day Classic'. Going into the game the Argos were 3-5, in 2nd place in the East division but only 2 pts ahead of Hamilton who were 2-6. Both of Hamilton's wins this season had come against the Argos so a win would have meant a season series sweep. Winning in Hamilton had always been a tough task for the Argos until recently, having surprisingly lost their home opener to Hamilton and blown an early lead in their previous encounter in early August their was much speculation in the Toronto media that another loss to the Ticats might have cost Argos head coach Rich Stubler his job. Speculation was that Argos ownership would have brought back Mike 'Pinball' Clemons. Again I missed bits and pieces of this game flipping back and forth from Prison Break but I saw a few very interesting things:

The Argos got a great kickoff return to start the game from Domique Dorsey to start the game, they proceeded to march down the field and score, much of that coming on the ground with Kerry Joseph taking off for a big first down run. Dorsey went onto have a monstrous game picking up over 250 total yards. Joseph's running was especially impressive and early on made the move made during the Argos bye week of trading away competitor Michael Bishop to Saskatchewan a good one.

On Hamilton's first possession TSN cut to an inspiring pre-game speech made by running back Jesse Lumsden. It was all very 'Friday Night Lights', the youngish Lumsden is very much like the Garret Hedlund's portrayal of Don Billingsley. Hamilton answered with a TD drive of their own, but Lumsden was notably absent for the most part. Rod Black and Duane Forde noted that the Ticats had dressed 3 tailbacks for the game, which was unusual, perhaps indicative that Lumsden was not yet fully recovered from a high ankle sprain

In the 3rd quarter Hamilton used it's 2nd replay challenge to reverse a short completion Kerry Joseph had made to the former QB Reggie Neal. A quick look at the replay revealed that the ball had hopped up before it was caught by Neal. Rod Black quickly called it a one-hopper and the pair took this chance to tell us all about how Neal was a standout college QB. While TSN was airing multiple angle replays of the replay of the catch under review Black and Forde continued to babble. Neither offered the possibility that the ball might have bounced up off Neal's hands first which is why the replay took so long to be resolved. Black and Forde have very little chemistry together and I was shocked that neither offered this possibilty. The Argos ended up settling for a field goal. To me at least it looked like Joseph was having a problem making some throws, either off target or a little short.

Going into the 4th quarter the Argos trailed 26-24. The season premiere of Prison Break completed so I watched most of the 4th quarter, which is where things got interesting. The Argos took the lead 27-26 on Mike Vanderjagt's 4th field goal of the game.

The Argos went ahead 34-26, some big completions got them to first and goal inside the 10. Dominique Dorsey used his speed to turn what looked like a loss in the backfield into a decent gain setting up a 2nd and goal from the 2 yard line. 2 yards in the CFL is tricky, although you have the 1 yard gap between the offensive and defensive line, a 2 yard plunge is kind of risky. Fortunately for the Argos, the Ticats linebacker insisted on getting the officials attention to the fact that their sideline had thrown a challenge flag, challenging where Dorsey had stepped out of bounds on the previous play. Unfortunately for the Ticats they had already used their two challenges and trying to use a 3rd is a delay of game penalty and an automatic first down. The Argos set up first and goal from the 1. The Argos ran a nifty little piece of trickery and Brian Crawfords 1 yard run put them ahead.

The Ticats got the ball back and moved it downfield but settled for a field goal. With plenty of time left they kicked the ball back to the Argos. TSN showed the Pinball on the Argo sidelines and commented that he had been in the news recently, Pinball somewhat angrily turned to the camera man and told them to focus on the guys on the field "they're the stars". Deep in their own end Joseph threw a floater to Bethel Johnson. Badly underthrown the Hamilton DB jumped up and looked like he may have caught it, but when he hit the ground the ball popped free. On field the play was at first ruled an incompletion, but then it was ruled a catch. Now standing next to Stubler it looked like the Pinball was urging Stubler to throw the Challenge flag. Stubler did and the Argos won the challenge. Pinball received high fives all around from Argo people on the sidelines. It was an awkward moment, for someone trying to play down rumours of his desire to return to coaching it was almost like he was still in control of the team. Rather than giving the Ticats ball deep in Argos territory the Argos could now punt. Still pinned in deep the Argos opted to concede a safety. The Argos 'drunken idiot kicker' ran around the back of the endzone for a good 10 seconds before stepping out.

The Ticats got the ball back and moved it downfield before settling for a field goal with under 3 minutes remaining the score was now 34-31. After forcing the Argos to punt the Ticats were now faced with needing to drive the length of the field to win the game or kick a game tying field goal. In the final minute after a few completions and first downs the Ticats were still out of field goal range. On 2nd down and long Casey Printers completed to Jesse Lumsden who looked like he had plenty of space in the open field to pick up the first down instead he tried to juke out the smaller defender who did a great job at wrapping him up short of the first down. Lumsden lunged but much like Garret Hedlund in Friday night lights- or Kevin Dyson for the Titans in Superbowl 34 he was just short. Now facing 3rd down and a long 1, and being still out of Nick Setta's field goal range the Ticats were forced to go for the 3rd down conversion. Instead of handing the ball again to Lumsden or keeping the ball himself, Printers handed the ball off to Piercey the fullback as he attempted to go around the left side. Piercey was stopped short and the Argos took over on downs and proceeded to run out the clock for the win. The Ticat play call was curious in that it was not given to their star running back or QB. A similar play had worked earlier, perhaps hoping to catch the Argos off guard again or inspired by Crawford's TD run earlier, it seemed to go against all the principles of working class ticat football of just ramming it up in there.

Curiously the Ticats who had led the league in rushing seemed to abandon the running game in the latter half even when they had the lead and Lumsden was not used much down the stretch. It looked to me like he lacked the explosiveness he had earlier in the season. Perhaps the Argos 4 and 5 man fronts and recognition that Lumsden was not fully healed led to the change in strategy. Printers has to take some blame his completion numbers were not great, the Argos brought a lot of pressure the Ticats looked sharper under Richie Williams in their August victory. There will be lots of Hamilton fans calling for the firing of Charlie Taafe or the benching of Casey Printers.

The Argos who started 1-6 last season and went on to host the East final could certainly use this as inspiration for the remainder of their season. At 4-5 the Argos look to be in good shape in the East to at the very least host a 1st round playoff matchup, the last three times the Argos were involved in Eastern Finals the road team has been victorious so just peaking come October/November could be enough to put them back in contention for the Grey Cup.

Fantasy (Football) Time

Just under 2 weeks until the first Sunday of the NFL season, 10 days until the big Thursday night kickoff. Finally tonight is the draft for my fantasy football league. I do hockey and baseball and basketball and even box office pools, but without a doubt the sport that is best suited for fantasy is NFL Football. The other pools I talked about require daily roster moves, baseball can be tricky in that it can be tough to figure out starting rotations, hockey I've found a certain degree of manipulation by owners attempting to preserve a pristine GAA after a couple early week shoutouts. Who exactly is playing goal for your team if you've benched all your goalies. Football is great in that you can sit back on a Sunday and watch your matchup progress. By Sunday evening you usually have some idea whether the Sunday and Monday night evening games will have any impact on your matchup. It truly makes for a tense evening when you realize every play has an impact on the outcome of your fantasy matchup.

For about 6 weeks there has been discussion about what offseason moves will result in big fantasy numbers for players, which rookies are worth drafting and which former backups. I really haven't put a lot of research into this, mostly I depend on the yahoo pre-rankings. If there happens to be a contract holdout like a Steven Jackson or a training camp/pre-Season injury like a Willis McGahee or Chad Johnson then I tend to wait a little later to draft these players. Our league, mostly at my insistence, switched from drafting team defenses to drafting individual defensive players. The logic was basically that in a league of 18 owners and 32 NFL teams there wouldn't be enough depth for every owner to have a backup plan. My basic strategy the last few years has been pretty simple, draft as many starting running backs as possible. In my league we can only start 2 running backs, but the frequency with which these players get injured, I've found that 4 or even 5 RBS is great to have. The downside of course is there is always going to be that Sunday where you leave a guy on the bench and had you started him you would have won, but at least that guy is on your bench and not on someone else's like your opponents starting roster.

The QB position is pretty important. If you can't get the first or 2nd pick and get LT or Adrian Peterson it's worthwhile taking Peyton Manning or Tom Brady, generally durable QBs who are almost guaranteed to average 2+ TD passes per game. If you are in a league of less than 10 with only 1 active QB you can always get a decent starting QB, if you are in a league of 16 + it is pretty important to draft your QB probably by round 4 at the latest. I fill out my roster with all the wide receivers and running backs I need before I even think about looking at the tight end, defensive positions or my back up qb. I frequently save my kicker picks until the very end. In season I just closely monitor injuries and look for capable running back backups like an Earnest Graham I picked up mid-seaon last year and was pretty consistent averaging I believe around 75 yards and a touchdown per game for my during that timespan.

The biggest mistake I've made in the past besides drafting Raiders has been drafting players from teams who share the same bye weeks. However if you have a vast majority of your players on a bye week and they happen to be good, during a regular season it may not be a bad idea to just concede one week rather than dropping players that you may need come playoff time.

I'm just hoping my PC won't crash during the live draft. I anticipate someone is going to get really excited and take Favre in the 1st round which I'm sure will be met with a great deal of disapproval from fellow owners. I don't know which rookie if any will have the kind of impact Adrian Peterson had last year with the Vikings, based on talent you would say Darren McFadden might be that guy, but splitting carries with a couple other running backs and a team that has traditionally had to play from behind might mean fewer opportunities. I don't think there is anyway Moss and Brady can replicate the success they had last season, but as long as they are both healthy those guys have got to be top 10 picks.

4 hrs until the live draft we will see how I do.

Time to Pay the Piper!

No not that Piper! This post is actually inspired by true events that occurred last Thursday and Friday at my sister's Scottish themed wedding (we aren't but her husband's Maternal Grandparents are Scottish). Going through the final details at the rehearsal the day prior the Best Man and Groom were trying to figure out who would pay the Piper. Both Garry (my other brother in law) and myself found this really amusing literally having to figure out who would pay the piper. The day of the wedding things we were about a half hour behind starting dinner. The piper was supposed to pipe in the wedding party, but around 6:30 pm he got really agitated and demanded payment, I guess his Winnebago was double parked. The best man gave him his money and the guy took off before the wedding party could be piped into the reception hall. Well not quite what the cautionary tale about the Pied Piper of Hamlin is about but certainly anytime someone uses or misuses the expression, well it will have a whole new meaning to me, this finally brings me to my actual posting... one of my biggest annoyances is the reliance on cliches, or corporate speak, or sports analogies or war metaphors unless it is specifically used for the purposes of irony or humour. I'm going to just briefly describe some of the more common instances of what I believe to be annoying reliance on cliches:
The most common place to hear cliches is of course in sports. Hockey athletes are well known for their really dull interviews riddled with "one game at a time", "give it 110%". I find it really amusing when hockey analysts describe an offensive defenceman as the "Quarterback" of the powerplay, yes we all understand what you mean when you use the term, but I didn't ever see Tomas Kaberle putting his hands up Mats Sundin's butt last season and Sundin hike him the puck. Boxing is quite popular, "going toe to toe" or being in a "heavyweight bout". I notice Tony Kornheiser likes to throw in a lot of baseball terms when he is on Monday Night Football, it makes me wish they brought Dennis Miller back.

War references are very commonly used in sports. In basketball, announcers often refer to a particularly skilled Point Guard as a "floor general". Football loves to describe a very physical game as a "war" and coaches love to describe the opposition as the enemy and "we are going to go out there and take no prisoners", which I presume to mean they are going to kill everyone, because otherwise it wouldn't be very threatening "ok you are free to go now". Ironically enough in war, they tend to use a lot of sports or medical analogies, or so all the stuff I've seen on HBO's Generation Kill seems to tell me. When a unit has been selected for a special mission there is often talk of "taking the ball and running with it" or "being on the goal line" (presumably the oppositions goal line). I suppose the use of sports analogies in the military is a sort of common language, so many kids who end up in the Marines at some point in their life played high school football so I guess using the war as a game metaphor sort of distracts them from the seriousness of what they are about to do and also sort of brings the unit together to accomplish a goal, either that or they are all bunch of dumb jocks I don't know. I suppose on the other hand the "game as war" serves to turn a pointless game that is supposed to be played for fun into something really serious. Strange, I was tempted to quote something from Confucius that I saw in Ghost Dog about paying great mind to trivial things and little mind to important things but blah, blah, blah.

Along with sports and war references you also hear a lot of other expressions that no one really is quite sure where they came from like: "crunch time", which I always think of like Captain Crunch and start wondering what that has to do with football, did Captain Crunch play football for the Naval Academy?
I don't know whether the use of cliches in sports has something to do with the intelligence of the broadcasters and the fact that they are former athletes for the most part who have spent their entire life listening to former athletes now coaches feed them the same pre-game, halftime/intermission speeches or whether it is indicative of the intelligence of the people at home watching and listening.

Even worse than the use of cliches in sports is the reliance on cliches in the Corporate Environment. The worst part about cliches in an office environment just about any sort of cliche or analogy can and will be used sometimes rendering the entire conversation completely ridiculous and incomprehensible. The one expression I hear most frequently "touch base", I have no idea where this came from perhaps it is some kind of sports reference I don't know it just always sounds so insincere, what's wrong with "we should do lunch", or "I'll give you a call", also frequently insincere but at least it's clear what is meant. I hear a lot of corporations refer to their work units as "teams" and managers and supervisors as "coaches", I find this all a bit ironic. What usually happens to a baseball or hockey team that performs poorly, the coach or manager gets fired, in most corporate environments the first people to go are the lowest level employees and not the management team so I find this fictitious "team" concept to be a bit amusing. Call it what you want "coach", "supervisor", "manager" in the corporate world it is hierarchical and everybody ultimately has a "boss" usually more than one.

The most amusing thing I've ever heard was a mid level manager who liked to mix sports analogies in a corporate environment to create if you followed it some crazy combo sport. "Well we need to see you step up to the plate and see if you can make it from behind the 3 point line and if we have confidence in you we will give you the ball and let you run with it and maybe give you a shot at goal". I hear this and I was like this is some weird base-ket-foot-soccer ball game almost sounds like something I might want to create and sell to corporations as a "team building exercise" unless they are already playing this in Ireland or Australia or something.

My final point about cliches is that when they are intended to express a certain sentiment on a subject, frequently people do understand what you mean and it is efficient, however on occasion people pretend to understand what you mean but are just too embarrassed to admit they don't and your very profound point that you thought you just made with a clever use of a cliche wasn't made at all. An example of cliches being lost on certain people, we have different themes for the instruction every month in my aikido dojo and the month of May the theme was "Silence is Golden". One of the members who is not originally from Canada, wasn't really sure what this meant he says to a group of us "This silence is golden....what does this mean....silence is good...." being the topical comedian that I am I'm like "yes, very good and increasing in value every day".

Argozzz!

August is generally an exciting time for football fans. August means Fantasy Football drafts and the latest installment of the MADDEN series. In Canada, the CFL season is in full swing, in the US College football season begins; NFL players, well at least some of them have returned to training camp and the much anticpated pre-season schedule begins. Yes the pre-season where 3rd and 4th stringers battle it out for 1 or 2 spots on the kick coverage or practice squad, what a wonderful time.

Friday I decided to take in my very first CFL game of the 2008 season (I always think it`s strange that there are so very few sports that have a season entirely contained in a single calendar year). I had to that point not really watched a full Argo game this season, I picked this game for several reasons, the most important being it was on a Friday night of a long weekend and it was against Winnipeg, perhaps not as big a rivalry as Hamilton or Montreal, but having a good drinking buddy from Winnipeg who also enjoyed watching the CFL, I thought at the very least I can enjoy imbibing even if the game wasn`t very entertaining. Let`s just say this theory was about to be put to the test.

Approaching the stadium I was accosted by an Anti-Buffalo Bills campaigner who wanted me to take some flyer protesting the pending pre-season game and regular season game to be held in Toronto over the next few years. I declined. I will briefly explain my stance on this. I do attend Argo games, I am also an avid NFL fan although not much of a Bills fan. Personally, I think even if an NFL franchise were to come to Toronto, the CFL and the Argos could manage to survive. I would not pay the outrageous prices that are being charged to see a pre-season game, a regular season game it would depend entirely on the match up. Even if we had an NFL franchise, I don`t think that`d stop me from seeing an Argo game for a fraction of the cost. The CFL operates during the summer months and the season ends in November right when the NFL starts to get interesting. You can argue the Argos and the CFL are a cultural institution and to lose that would be a shame, I agree, but I think if the CFL fails it won`t be because people have chosen to attend an NFL game over a CFL game, I think even without the NFL people will find other places to spend their entertainment money if they don`t enjoy the CFL. I mean the NFL is hardly Walmart I don`t think they really care whether the CFL lives or dies, in fact I think the presence of the CFL as an almost North American farm system could be invaluable especially since the end of NFL Europe.

The Argos failed miserably at building any kind of energy in the crowd prior to this game. I showed up at 6:15 expecting some kind of tailgaiting event, either a barbeque or beer garden, but there was nothing. I managed to buy tickets off of a scalper friend below face value, when we got to our seats in the 200 level we noticed there were no upper bowl cheap seats sold at all. This I find extremely disappointing. Maybe you are only selling 25,000 seats, but open up the upper bowl, sell tickets at $2 a piece if you need to fill it. Perhaps the costs of security and ushers for the upper bowl keeps the Argos from making seats available in the upper bowl, but it just seems pathetic. The game itself was nearly as dull as an NFL pre-season game. There were 3 exciting events the entire game: an Argo punt return for a TD, a 80+ yard Blue Bomber TD pass and the drunken fan in the 4th quarter who tried to run across the field. Too many punts led to a lack of continuity, an inherent danger in watching a CFL game, but rare to see teams punt or settle for field goals so frequently. When the star of the game is Mike `our drunken idiot kicker` Vanderjagt you can tell it`s not such a good entertainment product. The only thing I could take solace in is I got a 200 level seat and 4 beers ( the fact I was drinking a beer for which the rival team was named led me to question whether I was somehow being disloyal to my home team) for the price of a person would pay to watch the Steelers vs. Bills Pre-Season ticket in the upper bowl.

Next Argo home game: Friday August 15th vs. the Montreal Alouettes. I wonder whether they will have taken down all of the Bills banners and displays from the night before by then.

It's All About Making That GTA (IV)!

Last month I was given a bottle of whiskey and GTA IV as a birthday gift that's when it all started. I find myself unable to stop playing the latest installment of the Grand Theft Auto series (serious gamers just refer to it as GTA or so I am told). I don't consider myself to be a "gamer", perhaps "gamey" at times but since we purchased our XBOX 360 last Christmas I've mostly stuck to Rockband and Guitar Hero. Having mastered those games and become a serious musician, I thought why not try my hand at being a petty criminal. GTA IV is my first foray into 21st century narrative driven games.

It's really interesting how my game play has evolved. At first I didn't really know the city or where the hell I was half the time. Not knowing how to fight and being pretty terrible at driving, I was pretty tentative a little bit paranoid of screwing up and getting arrested. After completing a few missions you start to make new friends and even start a relationship with a dumpy dull naive OCD midwestern girl. In between missions you have opportunities to hang out in bowling alleys, bars, pool halls. The little games within the game like tetris, bowling, darts, pool are kind of fun and at first as a character trying to be invited up for a "warm cup of coffee" is exciting. After a while, much like real life the dates get pretty tiresome. You feel sort of obligated to drive to various locales around the city so you use the GPS and start to drive a bit faster, especially after getting busted or crashing the car a few times you realize there is very little consequence, it is a lot like Groundhog Day.

The only downside to screwing up is it can just get really frustrating repeating the mundane driving portions of the missions. As you accumulate more weapons and outrun the cops a couple times I became less patient and way less careful. The first trip to the strip bar or time with a prostitute is amusing just because your curious how nasty the game is going to get. Overall it's pretty tame. I'm at the stage now where I drive everywhere as quickly as possible and try and get any non mission related interactions over as quickly as possible. How quickly I have degenerated into a callous hardened criminal. I find it spilling over a little bit into my daily life, walking down the street seeing someone leave their BMW running while they run into a convenience store part of me is really tempted to hop in and take it for a spin, not good.

I'm about 20% complete, but I expect I should be able to make a lot of progress in the next couple weeks now that I've figured out the basics provided I stay on the straight and narrow path.

JCVD

Art imitates Life and the results are hilarious! Ok, this is just a prognostication, but when the Midnight Madness line up for the 2008 version of the Toronto International Film Festival was announced I was very pleased to hear that it starred, what prior to Stella Artois was Belgium's greatest North American export. Wow I remember in the 80's/ early 90's when Jean Claude Van Damme was a major action star. It was actually next to impossible to forget, my roommate in 1st year university insisted on watching Double Impact on at the very least a weekly basis. JCVD gets a shot at self-reflexive redemption in the opening night selection of the wildly popular Midnight Madness program (Thursday Sept 4th at the Ryerson). I'll just paraphrase the synopsis as I know it. JCVD plays himself, down on his luck, washed up. JCVD accidentally stumbles upon a real life bank robbery and the police think Van Damme has finally snapped and committed the robbery himself. Sounds like action-comedy, genre aware spoof. The rest of the TIFF midnight madness film list is available at http://www.tiff08.ca/filmsandschedules/programmes/midnightmadness

I need to check out the rest of the schedule and figure out what looks interesting. The full schedule comes out Tuesday August 26th.

My Name is Len!

Not that I have anything to actually write about, but hey that hasn't stopped anyone else from starting their own blog. I suppose mostly tired of reading other peoples ridiculous blog entries so I decided to write some of my own. Take that Sham-Pain! Shawn did I ever tell you my friend we'll call him "Derek" doesn't think that's your real name!